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What Is Heaven If Not Darkness

Darkness

The birth of imagination

The birth of limitations

Or the birth of everything

At least in spaciousness, I get to exist too.

Start from somewhere

and

choose every time

And with this, I choose where to land

Sometimes I don’t get to decide until that moment

Sometimes it feels like I didn’t choose this.


Is it darkness that we get to see?

We think of light but it’s the contrast

It’s the hearer that hears, the seer that sees

Not the light shining at me

Darkness is inclusive because


sadness

+

silence

=

seen.

Starting here

is an intuitive decision, an acceptance of what’s clear and dare I say definite in this moment. Pretending to have answers is an instant soothing and a lifetime of facing what I smell but can’t taste.

The truth carried and the denial of its existence. Running towards the end of the tunnel but darkness stays consistent. I can’t hide from what I can’t see. And trusting the inner spirit or higher self becomes a place of laughter: how on earth does one root from deep imagination? A deep knowing that is researched without evidence, answered without question. Even with silence, meditation, and staying in the present, the line between what’s real and what’s imagination is thin if not transparent.


Who’s to say what is a blessing?

Prayer, gratitude, glass-half-full thinking.

What happens when your addiction is your best friend?

How to stay grateful from a distance?

And why is it that when I think of darkness, lightness comes?

Dare I say that lightness is not the one, not the sun, or the son

and definitely not the hero over victims and villains.

But who’s to trust my voice in this?

A mere becoming of stardust and darkness

and fire,

I fathom.

Because why be here on earth,

I ask myself often.

Is it to look forward because surviving means you have to keep going?

Perhaps it’s not the past that emerges to exist in my dreams but the grasping of a

d

r

e

a

m

I can’t dream is the most daunting

Specs and reflections

reflections


The mirror affection

Seeing is a choice but trusting can’t be forced.

There is a

m

i

d

d

l

e

w a y .

It’s looking from the outside while staying within.

It’s breaking divinity as I trust the path I try to name.

How to have what’s not mine to grasp

A hand that holds but lets me go

Because darkness has the answers I’ve been

l

o

o

k

i

n

g

f

o

r

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